This issue is shared from Therese Skelly.
Break free of these 5 pesky little patterns that can be standing between you and your success.
The Five Traps are:
- I have to do it all myself
- People won’t pay higher fees
- Everyone already knows this
- It needs to be perfect
- I don’t have enough _______
Ok, and as a reminder – if you see yourself in some of these traps, be gentle. No judgment, no shame….just awareness and action. So as you read this stuff, the best thing to do is to commit to doing something different. Sort of like that old Seinfeld show where George did “Opposite Day.” ?
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If you are a business owner who has not yet delegated or still struggles with figuring out how to better leverage your time by having a team, you may be suffering from mindset block #1 which is the I have to do it all myself syndrome. How would you know if this is you? See if you related to any of these statements –
“No one could do it as good as I can”
“I’m not comfortable asking for help”
“I couldn’t trust someone”
“I should be able to handle it all”
Many of us struggle with this concept and the cost is really high. The first thing I do with a business owner is to look at where they are wasting their precious time by doing things that would be better outsourced. There is the tactical piece of “How do I do this” but mostly, the place it breaks down for people is when they have the mindset block of having to do it all themselves. Very often this comes from family messages and early training about not giving permission to be vulnerable or receive support.
The first step is to make an assessment about where you are in this area. If you haven’t yet master delegating and outsourcing (or just reaching out for support/encouragement) is it that you don’t know how, or could it be a mindset block.
If you push past the first sentences and find what’s on the other side, you’ll discover the golden nugget. For example, if you relate to the sentence, “I’m not comfortable asking for help” take it the next step further and ask yourself why. Would you feel stupid? Would you lose credibility? People think you are less than or too needy? What’s the story under that? If you unravel the story that’s usually unconscious or not quite in your reach, you can finally ask the magical question…Is It True? Once you look at it from this perspective, you can begin to chip away at the old belief/block so you have freedom to make a new choice. To further this questioning process, look into the work of Byron Katie at www.thework.com. She’s got a quick way to turn your erroneous thinking around. On her site got to the Do the Work sect ion and get started taking back your power.
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Who else is sick of hearing about the economy and lack of business? Mindset block #2 is the belief that People won’t pay higher fees. This mindset gets you in the trap of having to try to keep your rates low, under charging, and feeling guilty if you ask your clients to pony up their dollars for your services. For me, I need only go to one of the restaurants in my city (Scottsdale, AZ) and notice just how many people are spending money!
The trick here once again is to discover if there is any part of you that pulls back from either asking for the sale, or from raising your fees. Usually there is a story underneath that it’s not right to ask for that much money or the tendency to jump into other peoples’ financial situations and make decisions for them. I think the heart of this mindset block is two fold. The first could be a lack of boundaries and a tendency to take in the ‘popular opinion’ which you must stay away from! If you find yourself believing that no one will spend more, begin to notice things to the contrary. Go to malls, nice restaurants, or car lots. See evidence that while some people are constricting in their spending, there are still loads of people who are willing to pay for good service and value. And stay away from the nay-sayers or any negativity that could lead you to buy into the lack consciousness.
Next is to understand the value you provide. If you have the story that people won’t pay for your services, it might be because you haven’t done the work on getting the clarity you need around the results you bring. I guarantee that if you really take a stand for what you offer and believe that deep in your core, you won’t pull back from offering your services. How to do this? One way is to ask your past clients to list what they have gotten from your work together. And you don’t want to stop at the surface level…do the ‘deep dive’ with them about how they were impacted 6 months later, 2 years later, etc. If you charge someone $1,000 but your client was able to get new business and bring in $5,000 that year, imagine the lifetime of their business and the results gained from your expertise. Its mind boggling to think of the reach you can have.
I’ll also give you a link to a short visualization where I guide you in getting clarity on understanding what you bring: http://www.audioacrobat.com/play/WP6c64cx.
It’s about 6 minutes long, and will give you a jump start on identifying the value you bring. Once you own this, you’ll not again have to worry if someone can afford your services.
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How many times have you heard yourself (or someone you know) say mindset block #3 – Everyone already knows this. This little bugger is the thing that keeps your great ideas inside you, has you comparing yourself to everyone else, and has your income hitting the skids in some ways because you may be devaluing what you know. It looks like this…you get an idea for a new program or product and then talk yourself out of it because that monkey mind who reminds you that everyone has heard this before, you aren’t that much of an expert anyway, and who the heck do you think you are! Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a teensy bit, but loads of great service providers are wandering around talking themselves out of their brilliance with the crazy story that what they want to launch in the world doesn’t have value.
Are you seeing a theme here? Notice that many of the mindset blocks really boils down to the issue of undervaluing ourselves.
So how do you believe that not everyone knows what you want to teach? Do some research. You could either ask your clients, find forums or other places where your ideal clients hang out, put questions on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or the social networking sites, or notice the themes that come up as you work with people. That will show you that there are specific problems that you are an expert in solving. I’d encourage you to make a list of the things that you have expertise in solving.
Here too is where we come to the place of there not being any competition because you have your unique style. You could be presenting Anthony Robbins’ stuff word for word and put your spin on it with your personality, and it would be fresh to your listeners! But too often we don’t take into account our experiences and world view and our way of working. The key here is owning your style.
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Mindset trap #4 is what keeps most of our good ideas on the shelf, and that’s the belief that it needs to be perfect. This is a tricky one because no one wants to put out schlocky work, but if this one gets hold of you, the result is that of a hamster on the wheel. I have seen so much money, talent, time and potential wasted in the quest to achieve that “just right” state, that it’s mind boggling. This may be you if you aren’t launching your ideas because you have to “get it just right” or “do some more research” or “take another training” before you are enough or your work is ready to roll out.
My “BFF” and super-coach Shawn Driscoll always tells her clients to get it 70% done and get it out. You can always tweak a bit later, but the secret here is to master your ability to self soothe when that little gremlin pops in telling you that it’s not good enough. The next key is in having accountability and hard deadlines. Announce to your list that you are creating a product. Tell them when it will be ready, and it’s even ok if you tell them it’s a “Beta” launch while you are working the kinks out. Lots of people charge a bit less for this so there’s not the feeling that you are charging a ton and giving a less than perfect product.
I should also say it here that if you have this pattern in your business, it’s also showing up in your life…I guarantee! So keeping with George of Seinfeld and the Opposite Day theme, do something different! Go out without make up or whatever for you would represent breaking the perfection pattern. You will eventually learn that good is good enough! Of course we strive for excellence and I’m not saying to settle, but if perfection is the thing that’s costing you money because you are holding your stuff back, settle for getting it out first and then looking for improvement. And remember that it’s a process, not an event. ?
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Wrapping up the list of the money sucking mindset blocks comes #5 – which is the belief that I’m not ___________ enough to be successful. I coach a lot of coaches and other people who are service providers, and I hear this from them sometimes. It sounds like…
“I’m not educated enough”
“I don’t know how to market good enough”
“I’m not experienced enough”
“I’m not connected enough”
This one was one of my personal struggles when I started doing coaching back in the day. Partly because I have a Master’s Degree in Counseling and felt so proficient, educated, credible, and established in my old industry, that when I started something new, all my insecurities came flying up to the surface. I remember telling a more seasoned coaching all the reasons I “wasn’t enough” essentially and he looked me in the eye and said, “Give up your story…YOU ARE FULLY COOKED.” It was the first time I had considered that what I brought was valuable. And so what I did was to decide then and there that I’d figure out what more I needed to add to my skill sets and then get that so I no longer had the “but-I’m-not-enough-cuz-I-was-just-a-therapist-and-didn’t-have-a-corporate-background” crap I had been telling myself.
(The funniest part? The thing that I was feeling my “not enough-ness” around is the thing today that makes me the most unique and is what allows me to command good money for my expertise. How crazy is that!)
When I work with my clients, one of my joys is finding those places where they don’t own their value and then turn it in to the pearl that makes them unique.
The trick here, like all the other mindset traps is to first become aware of your story. Next, do the Byron Katie work or other awareness exercises to turn it around, and then “act as if” so that you begin to start breaking the patterns that keep you playing small.
I’d love to hear from you. Shoot me an email and let me know your mindset blocks and how this article helped you.
(c) 2010 Therese Skelly. Discover a simple, yet surprising secret to getting unstuck in your small business by visiting www.HappyInBusiness.com and signing up for her next free workshop.
